Author Topic: SMILE  (Read 395 times)

The Skipper

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SMILE
« on: February 27, 2016, 03:19:57 PM »
Doug is on his deathbed and knows the end is near.
His nurse, his wife, his daughter and 2 sons, are with him.
He asks for 2 witnesses to be present and a camcorder be in place to record his last wishes, and when all is ready he begins to speak:
· My son, "Bernie, I want you to take the Mayfair houses."
· My daughter "Sybil, you take the apartments over in the east end."
· My son, "Jamie, I want you to take the offices over in the City Centre."
· "Sarah, my dear wife, please take all the residential buildings on the banks of the river."
The nurse and witnesses are blown away as they did not realize his extensive holdings, and as Doug slips away, the nurse says, "Mrs. Smith, your husband must have been such a hard-working man to have accumulated all this property".
The wife replies, the jerk had a paper route.

The Skipper

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Re: SMILE
« Reply #1 on: February 27, 2016, 03:25:32 PM »
An engineer dies and goes to hell. He's hot and miserable, so he decides to take action. The A/C has been busted for a long time, so he fixes it. Things cool down quickly. The moving walkway motor jammed, so he fixes it. People can get from place to place more easily. The TV was grainy and unclear, so he fixes the connection to the Satellite dish and now they get hundreds of high def channels.
One day, God decides to look down on Hell to see how his grand design is working out and notices that everyone is happy and enjoying umbrella drinks. He asks the Devil what's up?
The Devil says, "Things are great down here since you sent us an engineer."
"What?" says God. "An engineer? I didn't send you one of those. That must have been a mistake. Send him upstairs immediately."
The Devil responds, "No way. We want to keep our engineer. We like him."
God demands, "If you don't send him to me immediately, I'll sue!"
The Devil laughs. "Where are You going to get a lawyer?"

LVGaryD

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Re: SMILE
« Reply #2 on: February 27, 2016, 03:48:17 PM »
 rflmao1 rflmao1 rflmao1

CyberChamp

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Re: SMILE
« Reply #3 on: February 27, 2016, 09:13:46 PM »
 rflmao1

 

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