Author Topic: Today's Funny  (Read 785 times)

Just Saying

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Today's Funny
« on: November 28, 2012, 11:11:09 AM »
Oprah Winfrey was picked up by a new limo driver in Chicago who promptly got lost. After awhile he admitted that he didn't know how to get her to her destination. She saw a policeman directing traffic and ordered the driver to stop. She lowered her window and asked the cop, "How do I get back to 294?"

He said, "Lose 30 Pounds... keep moving."
Somewhere in Kenya a village is missing it's idiot.

jordanjacob

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Re: Today's Funny
« Reply #1 on: November 28, 2012, 11:48:11 AM »
IN CASE YOU DIDN'T ALREADY KNOW THIS LITTLE TIDBIT OF TRIVIA....



ON JULY 20, 1969, AS COMMANDER OF THE APOLLO 11 LUNAR MODULE, NEIL ARMSTRONG was THE FIRST PERSON TO SET FOOT ON THE MOON. HIS FIRST WORDS AFTER STEPPING ON THE MOON, "THAT'S ONE SMALL STEP FOR MAN,

ONE GIANT LEAP FOR MANKIND," WERE TELEVISED TO EARTH AND HEARD BY MILLIONS. BUT JUST BEFORE HE RE-ENTERED THE LANDER, HE MADE THE ENIGMATIC REMARK - "GOOD LUCK, MR. GORSKY." MANY PEOPLE AT NASA THOUGHT IT WAS A CASUAL REMARK CONCERNING SOME RIVAL SOVIET COSMONAUT. HOWEVER, UPON CHECKING, THERE WAS NO GORSKY IN EITHER THE RUSSIAN OR AMERICAN SPACE PROGRAMS.



OVER THE YEARS, MANY PEOPLE QUESTIONED ARMSTRONG AS TO WHAT THE - 'GOOD LUCK, MR. GORSKY' STATEMENT MEANT, BUT ARMSTRONG ALWAYS JUST SMILED.



ON JULY 5, 1995, IN TAMPA BAY , FLORIDA , WHILE ANSWERING QUESTIONS FOLLOWING A SPEECH, A REPORTER BROUGHT UP THE 26-YEAR-OLD QUESTION ABOUT Mr. Gorsky TO ARMSTRONG. THIS TIME HE FINALLY RESPONDED BECAUSE MR. GORSKY HAD DIED, SO NEIL ARMSTRONG FELT HE COULD NOW ANSWER THE QUESTION.



HERE IS THE ANSWER TO "WHO WAS MR GORSKY":



IN 1938, WHEN HE WAS A KID IN A SMALL MID-WESTERN TOWN , HE WAS PLAYING BASEBALL WITH A FRIEND IN THE BACKYARD. HIS FRIEND HIT THE BALL, WHICH LANDED IN HIS NEIGHBOR'S YARD BY THEIR BEDROOM WINDOW. HIS NEIGHBORS WERE MR. AND MRS. GORSKY. AS HE LEANED DOWN TO PICK UP THE BALL, YOUNG ARMSTRONG HEARD MRS. GORSKY SHOUTING AT MR. GORSKY, "SEX! YOU WANT SEX?! YOU'LL GET SEX WHEN THE KID NEXT DOOR WALKS ON THE MOON!"



IT BROKE THE PLACE UP. NEIL ARMSTRONG'S FAMILY CONFIRMED THIS IS A TRUE STORY.

Just Saying

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Re: Today's Funny
« Reply #2 on: November 28, 2012, 12:01:50 PM »
I've been out-classed, Double J!  rflmao1

Glad you're still able to laugh. Hang in there.
Somewhere in Kenya a village is missing it's idiot.

jordanjacob

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Re: Today's Funny
« Reply #3 on: November 28, 2012, 12:06:51 PM »
I've been out-classed, Double J!  rflmao1

Glad you're still able to laugh. Hang in there.

laughing is the only thing I can do, every day it gets a little worse, no progress as I can't get contractors to return calls

anyone want to move here?

I wrote this for a friend right after the storm:


Home for sale:

Beach home with real authentic Long Beach sand in every room. Airy as most of roof is gone. Huge outdoor bathroom in backyard. Plenty of parking as all of neighbors cars floated away. Monthly garbage pickup. Occasional electricity. Prime fishing right off front porch. Huge indoor salt water swimming pool in basement. Kitchen stocked with monthly supply of gourmet military self heating meals.

No reasonable offer refused.



Just Saying

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Re: Today's Funny
« Reply #4 on: November 28, 2012, 12:21:14 PM »
When Katrina hit it was all George W. Bush's fault that no disaster relief was done fast enough. Now that Obama is in office, all you hear from the media is crickets chirping. Hope you get some relief soon. thumbsup
Somewhere in Kenya a village is missing it's idiot.

The Skipper

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Re: Today's Funny
« Reply #5 on: November 28, 2012, 09:54:34 PM »
When Katrina hit it was all George W. Bush's fault that no disaster relief was done fast enough. Now that Obama is in office, all you hear from the media is crickets chirping. Hope you get some relief soon. thumbsup
I'm 100% positive that Sandra started when Bush was still in office. 

Just Saying

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Re: Today's Funny
« Reply #6 on: December 16, 2012, 08:41:43 PM »
I'm 100% positive that Sandra started when Bush was still in office.
...maybe Reagan.
Somewhere in Kenya a village is missing it's idiot.

 

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