Author Topic: Friday Funny  (Read 528 times)

careless hal

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Friday Funny
« on: January 27, 2012, 09:27:40 AM »
The wife told me to go to the doctors and get some of those tablets that "help" get an erection.
You should have seen her face when I came back and tossed her some diet pills !



I am still looking for a place to live.


Danville

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Re: Friday Funny
« Reply #1 on: January 27, 2012, 10:26:32 AM »
The Brothel"

  The madam opened the brothel door in Winnipeg and saw a rather dignified, well-dressed, good-looking man in his late forties or early fifties.
  "May I help you sir?" she asked.
  The man replied,  "I want to see Valerie."
  "Sir, Valerie is one of our most expensive ladies.
 Perhaps you would prefer someone else" , said the madam.
  He replied,  "No, I must see Valerie."
  Just then, Valerie appeared and announced to the man she charged $5000 a visit.
  Without hesitation, the man pulled out five thousand dollars and gave it to Valerie, and they went upstairs.
  After an hour, the man calmly left.
  The next night, the man appeared again, once more demanding to see Valerie.
  Valerie explained that no one had ever come back two nights in a row as she was too expensive.
  "There are no discounts. The price is still $5000."
  Again, the man pulled out the money, gave it to Valerie, and they went upstairs.
  After an hour, he left.
  The following night the man was there yet again.
  Everyone was astounded that he had come for a third consecutive night, but he paid Valerie and they went upstairs.
  After their session, Valerie said to the man, 
"No one has ever been with me three nights in a row.
Where are you from?"
  The man replied,  " New Brunswick ."
  "Really," she said.  "I have family in  New Brunswick ."
 "I know." the man said.  "Your sister died, and I am her attorney.
She asked me to give you your $15,000 inheritance." 

 The moral of the story is that three things in life are certain:
1.  Death
2.  Taxes
3.  Being screwed by a lawyer!
 
You can be pretty sure there is tyranny in the country when the government pleads the fifth
Amendment !!

beans and weenies

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Re: Friday Funny
« Reply #2 on: January 27, 2012, 08:47:07 PM »
 rflmao1 rflmao1 rflmao1

Just Saying

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Re: Friday Funny
« Reply #3 on: January 30, 2012, 06:05:57 PM »
Nine year old Hunter was spending a few days at his Grandad's house. One day while out playing with the neighbor kids, Hunter came back in the house and asked, "Grampa, what do you call it when two people sleep in the same bedroom and one of them is on top of the other?"

Grampa squirmed for a minute, then decided to be honest with the Lad. "Well, son... it's called sexual intercourse." Hunter mused a minute, and said, "Hmmm... OK.", and went back out to play.

A short time later Hunter came back in and angrily said, "Grampa, it's not called sexual intrcourse, it's called bunk beds! And Jimmy's Mom wants to talk to you."
Somewhere in Kenya a village is missing it's idiot.

 

Big Dee's Tack and Vet Supply